Let's face it, we've all stood in about the same dark, dreary, and mundane position with the thousand pieces of our broken hearts that once used to feel whole.
The excruciating pain that follows lingers indefinitely, even after the “phase” is over, make it go away.
But I promise it does… The pit of emptiness seems to swallow us whole as we stand motionless. It consumes us. Some of us try to fight it off. Some stay still, almost numb. There are so many Whys, Whats, Whens, and Hows lingering in the air that it physically suffocates to breathe.
It doesn't always have to be romantic love on the other side. Sometimes it is a long-standing friend or perhaps the family you always looked up to.
And, yes, it gets worse.
Especially, the one to pluck your beautiful heart out has been the person who knows precisely what you fought and how vulnerable you have been with your insecurities. Yet, they sang the same tune they promised a thousand times; they never would.
It feels like crap- that would be an understatement of the century.
Whatever's left of your heart resolves never to love again. To never trust. And most disturbingly, never hope.
That's it for me!
I AM DONE.
No, you aren't, love. You're busy Googling the cure for a broken heart, the tried-and-true formula for overcoming a traumatic event, perhaps even how to get even with them.
The urge to make them realize how much they will miss having someone like you in their lives gets stronger. You start to lose your identity, vision, and path.
Heartbreak truly brings out the most terrible shade of your insecurities.
Why does it hurt so much? Because, you trusted them? You loved them? Or perhaps because you thought you knew them?
Yes, indeed all those reasons hold truth.
But it bleeds angst so bad because, in the end, it’s about you. The whiter the wall, the darker the stains. It hurts because your heart is pure. All it understands is love, hope, and compassion. And when such beautiful hearts ache, they hurt a lot harder.
However, that, my friend, is no reason to cry about. Your love is the remedy you have been searching for frantically
It’s okay to shut off for a while, but if you don’t allow the love and faith to course through your veins again, you may end up sabotaging you own healing process.
Everyone has their respective journey to overcome. You take the first step when you allow yourself to feel. Sit down with your emotions, and take them up one by one, at your own time and pace. It is not so hard if you have some help by your side. Perhaps, a friend, family, or a mental wellness coach, anyone who can hold your hand when it gets hard, give you a pat on the back when it's needed, and a solid push when you need to stand up.
Choose your support system carefully. Communicate with them. Unfiltered, raw, and honest communication.
Feel all you want, but don't identify yourself as your feelings.
You are feeling sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, or anything else. Once you have addressed your emotions, snap off the trance and move on to something better. Feeling something doesn't mean you are entitled to carry it forward.
Don't weigh the time and length of your healing process. Whether it was an attachment of two months or two years, every relationship has its own worth, and categorizing that into time frames would be disrespecting that.
One day at a time, develop new routines, embrace unexplored interests, and reunite with the awesome version of yourself. The closure you seek might not always be handed over to you on a platter. Own your narrative if that's what you need to move on.
It is hard to trust your strength again, but time is a great healer indeed.
Gradually you'll find yourself in control of your reigns again. In the end, the thick of heartbreak will only make you shine brighter.
If you still feel hopeless, muster a little courage and ask for help. I will be right there with you. And I promise I won't let go.
Check out "Whiskey In Your Coffee" and "Red Wine for Dinner," filled with other such strong stories that speak of how you can sway freely even on the dullest melodies of life.